As Benjamin Franklin stated, “nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”
We don’t have to worry about taxes in Grand Theft Auto 5 – but death is a constant companion for anyone not running a God Mode script.
Whether it’s getting gunned down by the police or just crashing into a fire hydrant at max speed on a Pegassi Oppressor, you can’t avoid getting Wasted a couple times every time you play.
So what can you do to make it a little easier on your pride?
Game developers have spent decades figuring out the best sound to indicate to the player that their HP has reached zero.
From the dramatic chiptune jingles of Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario Bros. to the horrifying sound of getting your head chopped off with a chainsaw in Resident Evil 4, we’ve heard it all.
By far, the most relatable and appropriate death sound ever created is the Roblox Death Sound.
Something about how short and sudden it is encapsulates the feeling of dying in a video game.
It’s reminiscent of hitting your pinky against a chair leg or hitting your head with a hanging lamp – and it’s perfect for replacing the Wasted sound in GTA 5.
Metal Gear Solid is one of the most well-regarded series in the history of gaming, and one of its most iconic moments is – you guessed it – getting a game over.
The worry and desperation in your operator’s voice as they fruitlessly try to contact you on the CODEC is heartbreaking, and it has inspired many creative versions throughout the series.
This mod replaces the GTA 5 death sound for the Metal Gear Solid one. This one is a must-have if you’re playing with the Solid Snake player skin.
Thousands of memes have been made featuring the show’s outro. Now, you can turn your premature meeting with the grim reaper into a meme with this mod.
To quote the legendary George Constanza:
“I can’t die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn’t die with dignity. I’ve lived my whole life in shame! Why should I die with dignity?”
Whether you’re struggling with the story mode or doing dangerous stuff like stealing jets from Fort Zancudo, you’ll likely develop a deep hatred for the Wasted screen.
After dying ten times trying to do the same thing, almost anything can feel like the game is just making fun of you.
You might be tempted to quit the game in a rage, probably destroying the Alt + F4 keys.
The Rage Quitter mod closes the game for you upon death and proceeds to play a relaxing song to calm your nerves, lower your blood pressure, and protect the integrity of your keyboard.
If, on the contrary, you’re the kind of player who does their best to die in the coolest, most extreme ways possible, I’ve got the mod for you.
Longer Wasted Screen does exactly what you’d expect: it lengthens the Wasted screen so you can follow your character’s corpse as it rolls downhill or freefalls from a busted airplane you just crashed into a building.
The camera will continue to follow your lifeless body until you decide it’s enough and hit the Enter key. It makes for prime entertainment – like an episode of Jackass on steroids.
The really good ones could last up to a couple months and maybe see a revival sometime down the line.
But there’s an elite category of memes that simply won’t die – the kind of meme that was funny last year, is funny now, and will make your progeny laugh for generations.
The Watcha Say meme is one of them.
This mod will make every instance of your character dying a reference to The Lonely Island’s genius The Shooting AKA Dear Sister skit from Saturday Night Live – featuring Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap.
Admittedly, the Coffin Dance meme featuring stylish Pallbearers from Ghana dancing to Astronomia 2019 by Stephan F doesn’t have the same timeless appeal as our previous entry.
But in terms of modding, it really doesn’t get better – or funnier – than this.
This absurd script by famous modder JulioNIB will turn your death into a hilarious performance by spawning six pallbearers who’ll dance to Astronomia while your body ragdolls to its final resting place.
The mod is more complex than you’d think.
It’ll spawn the pallbearers on a boat if you die on water, or on a plane if you’re high up in the air.
It always finds a way to surprise you, and it’ll definitely take the edge off dying for the foreseeable future.
You’ll find several customization options to make it the perfect funeral performance for your character. Coupling this with the Remove Wasted Banner mod is recommended for the best results.
Nelson Chitty is a Venezuelan expat living in Argentina. He’s a writer and translator passionate about history and foreign cultures. His ideal weekend is spent between leisurely playing games of Civilization VI and looking for the next seinen anime to marathon.
